If I Had Legs I'd Kick You

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2:14

If I Had Legs I'd Kick You

R

2025

1h 53m

Mystery & Thriller

Comedy

Drama

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Tomatometer

Popcornmeter

92%

Tomatometer

212 Reviews

79%

Popcornmeter

100+ Verified Ratings

With her life crashing down around her, Linda (Rose Byrne) attempts to navigate her child's mysterious illness, her absent husband, a missing person, and an increasingly hostile relationship with her therapist.

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Critics Consensus

Liable to leave audiences in a cold sweat, this fever dream immersion into parental stress connects with thunderous force thanks to Rose Byrne's gutsy star turn and director Mary Bronstein's uncompromising vision.

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Audience Says

Far from a pat, feel-good experience, If I Had Legs I’d Kick You delivers an intense, brutally honest look at motherhood that’s deeply affecting for viewers willing to meet it on its own terms. Anxiolytics optional.

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Peter Bradshaw

Guardian

1h

4/5

Bronstein is brilliant at conveying mounting panic and a terrible, all-consuming sadness.

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Danny Leigh

Financial Times

5h

4/5

You could call the film a comedy about motherhood. I have certainly never seen a funnier scene involving a hamster. It also feels like a nightmare. At all points, though, the vibe is unnerving.

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Clarisse Loughrey

Independent (UK)

5h

4/5

It's less performance, more self-administered open heart surgery. Come on, take a look inside -- there's no poeticism and no beautiful agonies, only piles and piles of viscera.

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Emma Simmonds

The List

8h

4/5

Byrne takes what could have been a highly dislikeable, unforgivably reckless character and renders her compelling, relatable, funny and sympathetic. It’s the mark of a truly great actress.

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Fran Winston

Daily Express (UK)

1d

4/5

This is an uncompromising look at motherhood and the struggles of modern life that sticks with you long after the credits roll.

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Amy Z

Dec 31

2 hrs of virtual birth control.

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Robyn K

Nov 12

Rose Byrne is a wonderful actress and she did a wonderful job with this role. However, the movie itself was difficult to watch and thoroughly un-enjoyable. It was two hours of a Hellish deep dive into people's psychological suffering, the focus being on Byrne's character. The suffering and frustration is real and a depiction of how many suffer similarly in today's world. But it's definitely not a "must-see" unless you want to be reminded of how harrowing circumstances challenge so many of us and in so many different ways. Where they got the title, I don't know, as everybody had legs...except for this film.

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Mr. Hollywood

Nov 5

Was a decent movie about how life can be. About depression and everything we put on ourselves. Couldve used less metaphors but overall was good. Greta performance by Rose.

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Mich13

Nov 4

Dont recommend. Couldnt wait for it to be over . Very depressing , chopped up movie . Was saying WTF ??? If you want to be more anxious go see. Hearing how Conan OBrien had to do experiments on rats was nauseating! And that poor hamster! Not seeing daughter till the end of the movie. Im a Nurse - so no - that gastrotube could never be that long . Maybe 6-8 inches ! & its secured with a balloon you have to deflate to remove . Should have researched with medical expert . Did not enjoy at all. Read the other reviews.

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Anna B

Nov 3

What in the heck did i just watch. 100% trash, waste of my precious time movie. I wouldn't even watch it for free at home if I had nothing else to watch. I'd have rather stared at a wall for 2 hours. Do NOT WASTE YOUR TIME. I am so mad they even put this movie out onto the large screen for regular people to spend their hard earned money on. If the critics like it, just make it for the critics and leave us regular people out of this mess. Ugh. I want my 30 & Sunday evening back

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Kelanmon

Nov 2

A disturbing and inventive tale of the overwhelming stresses of motherhood.

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Conan O'Brien REFUSED to Do If I Had Legs I'd Kick You?!

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If I Had Legs I'd Kick You: Trailer 1

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Synopsis

With her life crashing down around her, Linda (Rose Byrne) attempts to navigate her child's mysterious illness, her absent husband, a missing person, and an increasingly hostile relationship with her therapist.

Director: Mary Bronstein
Producer: Sara Murphy, Ryan Zacarias, Ronald Bronstein, Josh Safdie, Eli Bush, Conor Hannon, Richie Doyle
Screenwriter: Mary Bronstein
Distributor: A24
Production Co: A24, Central Pictures
Rating: R
Genre: Mystery & Thriller, Comedy, Drama
Original Language: English
Release Date (Theaters): Oct 10, 2025, Limited
Release Date (Streaming): Nov 18, 2025
Runtime: 1h 53m
Sound Mix: Dolby Digital
Aspect Ratio: Digital 2.39:1

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